You must have high self-confidence to be successful in any field. A person who is in doubt about his capabilities is hard not only to achieve his goals but also to feel happy. Instead of enjoying life, an insecure person feels hesitating and fixates on his shortcomings. In such cases, the advice of psychologists will help, allowing you to increase self-esteem and love yourself.
Importance of self-esteem
To live a full life, a person needs to be aware of the value of his individuality, be mindful of his own merits and accept disadvantages. Healthy self-esteem is essential for realization in relationships, career, creativity, and spirituality. This quality has three main functions:
1. Protection. A person with high self-esteem feels comfortable when communicating with other people; he is independent of the opinions of others.
2. Regulation. Healthy self-perception allows you to make your own choice.
3. Development. Respect and self-love provide an incentive for self-improvement.
Ideally, self-esteem is built only from a person’s sensations. However, other side factors, such as the opinion of colleagues, parents, relatives, and friends, most often affect its formation.
Psychologists believe that a person with adequate self-perception can sensibly assess what abilities and skills she or he possesses. At the same time, a person with low self-esteem has constant doubts and refuses some activity due to fluctuations. Excessive self-perception is much less common than underestimated; it is fraught with a loss of caution and making mistakes of various kinds.
To gain self-confidence, a person needs to love himself with all his minuses and flaws. Everyone has shortcomings, but a person with healthy self-esteem differs from others. He always sees his merits and can correctly unlock the potential.
If a person does not accept and does not respect himself, he has problems in communicating with others, since others subconsciously feel his insecurity. Experts say that most people are drawn to self-sufficient personalities. Many people wish to see this quality in their friends, spouses and business partners.
Signs of low self-esteem
It is quite simple to identify the lack of competent self-perception. Most people with this problem have the following character traits:
• constant dissatisfaction with the results of their work, excessive criticism of themselves (even in minor cases);
• sensitivity to the opinions of others;
• fear of making a mistake, anxiety;
• the envy of other people’s success;
• excessive jealousy;
• pessimism and negative perception of the world;
• the constant search for excuses for their actions.
Everyone in life has temporary difficulties and failures, but a person with low self-perception regards these problems as indicators of his defectiveness, makes wrong conclusions, which leads to negative consequences.
If the person does not respect himself, the people around him also stop doing this. Such a chain leads to alienation, the occurrence of depression and psychological disorders.
The leading causes of the problem
It can be very long to enumerate all the factors that affect self-perception. Experts believe that the four most important reasons for negative attitudes are:
1. Upbringing. Probably the most familiar phrase: “All the problems grow from childhood.” It is true. The child sees how his parents and relatives treat him, and by this forms his assessment. If mom and dad often scold their children, they say that their successes do not reach the results of their peers, then he will not have faith in his abilities. The family forms the personality and lays the future character. Uncertainty, passivity, lack of initiative arise due to the attitudes of the parents.
2. Children’s failures. There are no people who are always successful in everything. However, their reactions to failures matter. Children’s psychological trauma often leads to low self-esteem. For example, a child believes that he is a cause for the divorce of the parents, over time, the constant feeling of guilt develops into insecurity. The typical situation is when a baby does not know how to accept defeat and draw conclusions. For example, he studies in a music school, but many more capable children around take first places in competitions receive praise from teachers. Most often, the child is acutely responsive to failure.
An adult can analyze the situation and decide whether a particular business is of high value to him. If the goal is fundamental, he will review the methods for achieving it, and for example, he will engage more. But the child may decide that he is incompetent and worthless. This uncertainty will go into adulthood.
3. Bad social circle. High self-esteem and ambition are present among those who are surrounded by people who strive for self-realization and success. If relatives, friends or colleagues are passive and inactive, drifting, their mood will be passed on. Famous experts say that the best way to see your future in 5 years is to look at your acquaintances who are five years older.
4. Features of health and appearance. Low self-esteem occurs in children and adolescents who look out of the box or have congenital diseases. Even if parents admire their child, it is not immune from peer attacks, and children are stubborn. To become an object of persecution, you do not need to look extremely unconventional. You can even laugh at such features that are not unattractive. For example, many famous models, who dream of being like thousands of women all over the world, said that they were ridiculed because of their height and thinness.
Methods to improve self-perception
If a person wonders how to increase self-esteem, then he has already taken the first step towards gaining self-confidence. Simple, but very effective recommendations of psychologists will help to solve the problem:
1. First of all, you should review your environment. Pessimistic and envious people are not the best company. It is more useful to communicate with confident, active, successful, strong personalities. Over time, a person adopts qualities from people from his environment, and this also applies to healthy self-perception.
2. It is impossible to learn self-esteem by reproving and reproving yourself regularly. Negative evaluation of one’s actions, career, appearance, etc. should be avoided. It is worth concentrating on favorable judgments.
There is no need to compare yourself with others. Anyone is unique. There will always be those who have achieved excellent results in a particular area of life. It’s wiser to compare yourself with your past and track your progress.
3. Pronouncing affirmations are very useful. It is necessary to formulate the most life-affirming phrases in the present tense, for example: “I am a successful and beautiful woman,” “I get everything that I undertake.” These statements should be repeated twice a day – in the morning and before bedtime.
You need to change the tactics of actions and start to commit significant efforts to respect yourself. It is proved that people who are engaged in extreme sports, do not even think about how to inflate self-esteem. They are self-confident because they always step over their fears and do what others cannot. It is not a call to go and jump with a parachute. It is enough to face your problems face-to-face and start solving them rather than looking for excuses. Whenever a person achieves a result and conquers himself, he becomes more confident in his abilities.
Sports are one of the most affordable ways to change your self-perception and improve your self-esteem. Regular exercise has a positive effect on both a person’s appearance and his psychological state. Also, dopamine is released during exercise.
Many psychologists advise insecure individuals to keep a diary of achievements. You can have a beautiful notebook and write 3-5 successes of the past day into it every evening. It does not necessarily have to be a global achievement, because everything is made up of trifles. The following successes will do: “I prepared delicious risotto,” “I learned 10 English words,” “I read ten pages from a book on management.”
It is unlikely that raising self-esteem is necessary for a person just silently to love himself. Most likely, he believes that low self-perception is an obstacle, because of this quality it is not possible to achieve success in a career, to please people of the opposite sex, to express oneself in work, etc.
But if a person does not have high self-esteem, this does not mean that he will not be able to get what he wants. Of course, this trait of character will facilitate the achievement of success, but its absence is not a hindrance. To understand what is being discussed, it is necessary to perform one exercise that is very popular in psychology independently.
You need to sit down and close your eyes, and then think to yourself: “I can’t get up,” “I can’t get up,” “I can’t get up.” Thinking about it, you need to stand up sharply.
Thus, a specialist can think that his work is not highly paid, but to ask for a promotion from management. A person can do everything, so to get what he wants, he does not have to feel himself especially.